Wives Who Don’t Do the Dishes Should Face Church Discipline

Suppose a man instructs his wife to have the dishes done by a certain time every day, and she fails or refuses to do it. Now he should restrict his requirements to things within the bounds of common fairness—say, he requires only two hours of work a day where she has four available. So there is nothing unreasonable about the expectation; she simply refuses to do it. When he makes an issue of it, she threatens him with great unpleasantness if he presses the point. What happens next? As her head and governance, he is required to remember the ultimate sanctions the Bible provides in situations of ultimate hardness of heart. Just as civil disobedience must be referred to the civil authorities, so also must failure to submit to government in the home be referred to the elders of the church (1 Tim. 3:5).

If, for example, the problem is one of poor housekeeping, he should require something very simple, i.e., that the dishes be done after every meal before anything else is done. The first time the dishes are not done, he must sit down with his wife immediately and gently remind her that this is something which has to be done. […] If she continues to rebel after patient effort, he should at some point call the elders of the church and ask them for a pastoral visit. When the government of the home has failed to such an extent and a godly and consistent attempt by the husband to restore the situation has broken down, then the involvement of the elders is fully appropriate.